Re: Build Time Machines to Go and Get Us Back...

Much to my disdain, I have a new neighbor right next door. The crying one finally got herself hitched and officially moved out the beginning of October. I was happy that my days of being reprimanded at 4am for excessively loud music were over; and I guess I was quite certain that at the price the place was going for, there was no way in hell it was going to be rented anytime soon. Would you pay $2200 for a one-bedroom in the East Village? I wouldn't... but someone did.

Enter Gothy Hipster Guy.

Why Gothy Hipster? Because from far away he looks like your average douchy hipster, but when you get up close he's wearing black eyeliner and black nail polish to match. Someone call Jared Leto, I'm sure he'd be proud. However, at least Leto used to be Jordan Catalano, so he's almost forgiven... all others do not get off so easily.

As with my last *new* neighbor who moved in a year ago and lives directly downstairs from me and had the audacity to not only ask me for milk but brought me cupcakes his first week in the building, this one, too, is clearly not from these parts. If he were from NYC, he would know that we don't engage in banter with our building mates. Why? Because people move so often, people get old, people die and once someone thinks they're on comfortable ground with you, they'll reprimand you at 4am about your music volume.

I'd seen Gothy Hipster Guy a few times yesterday. Based on what I noticed, he hasn't officially moved in, but is doing some sort cleaning or up-keep or whatever the fuck Gothy Hipster fellas do before they move into a joint. I originally thought he was peddling something, was a delivery boy or a friendly mid-western visitor with his whole "Hey! How are you!?" bullshit. Then bitches stepped it up and decided to knock on my apartment door, and I put two and two together.

As a firm believer in living in a no-pants world, I didn't get the door, but looked out the peep hole to see the eyeliner loving guy all up in my door's grill. I can only assume he wanted to introduce himself, share internet or hound me about something totally pointless like the fact that I'm trying to grow a Christmas tree on the fire escape. I don't care if it's blocking his view--I've already confirmed it's not a fire hazard unless it's on fire!

So yeah... that's what's going on over on East 2nd Street... well, that and I'm going to be trying to score dates in my new red sweater as a social experiment for a dating website. Considering my way with men, I should be hitched just like my recently moved-out neighbor by January. You know, because when you sarcastically tell someone that you feel bad for them because they wanted to talk to you on a Friday night in a crowded bar, it apparently just comes off insulting and they go out for a cigarette and don't come back.

xo.Mandy.