Monday, June 6, 2011

Re: Will You Love Me When Your Skin Isn't So Hard?

It's Internet Week here in NYC. All week long, it's panels and parties galore. And as someone who is an associate editor of a blog - aka I write all fucking day long and edit freelancers - I have to attend some of these events. I just got my new business cards last week, and they're so cute, that I'm quite excited to hand them out... so far, that's how people introduce themselves at these things. On Thursday night, I got home and dumped 23 business cards out of my bag. Recycling is fun.

Even before this job, I had attended these events with friends in those circles. I've realized bloggers tend to think they're saving the world... and are, for the most part, wonky.

I've also realized that, like most things, people can be lumped into categories. In regards to bloggers, I'm going to say 5 categories:

1. The trust fund baby. This person is blogging mostly for fun and because they feel they have something to offer the masses. They spout off about politics at these gatherings, point out every five minutes how they're an atheist, and are basically looking to debate a debate that they will probably lose. They're usually a short, frail guy.

2. The noisy one. This person loves the sound of their own voice - and the alcohol doesn't help. Louder and louder they get... they must dominate every conversation and are usually dressed in something they think is hipster, but is actually off the racks of a Fashion Bug - that is if that place even still exist. They're usually a chick who should probably give up the morning bagel.

3. The cool one. Super cool, super exclusive and probably has Gawker somewhere on their resume. Dresses trendy (read: ironically), and has a perfectly broken-in pair of Sperrys. Not particularly attractive, but you'd nail them for their contacts. The cool one can be either a fella or a lass in moderately skinny jeans, of course.

4. The good looking one. Whereas you'd nail the cool one because they write for Huff Po, you'd nail the good looking one because they're like a rare pearl amongst blah-ness. Unfortunately, the good looking one is well aware of the status as they usually never go home alone, or if they do, they're knee-deep in business cards for reasons other than networking. The good looking one can also be either male or female.

5. The judgmental wallflower. Ugh. The worst kind. This one stands there in these circles and judges everyone around them. They're neither impressed or engaging and usually spend the majority of the time trying to get the hell out of there so they can go home and listen to decent music. They've perfected the scowl instead of appropriate conversational skills. The judgmental wallflower is usually me.

And remember when I said that thing about not writing anymore Pomegranate Seeds stories... I lied. I don't know why I insist on making these crazy blanket statements when I'm pissed off.

Listen: new Beruit - "East Harlem."


boredinpa said...

Okay, so first I am the nosy one who does shop at fashion bug, and I always stare at my bagel in the morning saying your the last piece of bread my hips will have to load around. lol GREAT to here you are writing again, you totally scared me!!!!

angry mandy said...

do you really shop at fashion bug!?! I really thought they were all out of business!

boredinpa said...

I do, mostly because I am cheap and a posser, because sometimes I look trendy, but really I just want to blend in to be invisible and careless about what is on my back!!!!

Alissa said...

I consider judging to be a secret superhero power. At least that is what I tell myself...