There's this store called Hobby Lobby that my sister goes to from time to time when she needs to pick up some cheap, crafty related item. I only go with her because I'm fascinated by the religious paraphernalia and always end up dropping a few cents on crucifix shaped sponges or chocolate or a plate for a friend. My friends just love getting boxes of crucifixes from Colorado. So since Hobby Lobby is sooo religious, one would assume their employees would follow suit, um, no.
H.L. Cashier: Did you find everything all right?
Me: Sure did. Thanks. How are you?
H.L. Cashier: I'm okay. But if you asked me last week I would've told you that I was freaking out about how I'm pregnant. (she's not more than 20)
Me: Okay. (glancing at my sister)
Sister: I'm sorry, did you just say you're pregnant?
H.L. Cashier: Yeah, but I'm going to try a natural miscarriage...
Me: How? By hurling yourself down a flight of stairs?
Sister: Mandy! Be sensitive!
H.L. Cashier: No, I'm taking an herbal tea with lots vitamin C and parsley in it.
Me: Does that even work?
H.L. Cashier: I don't know. I hope so, but we'll see.
Sister: Well, I wish you the best of luck with that...have a nice day.
After the shock dissipated, outside in the car:
Me: Did she admit to us she's trying to self-abort her fetus?
Sister: I think so.
Me: Do you think she was kidding? Like trying to shock us or something?
Sister: No, you could tell she was terrified.
Me: Should I go back in and offer to take her to an abortion clinic?
Sister: No, she doesn't believe in abortion because she works at Hobby Lobby.
Me: Because a self-induced miscarriage isn't an abortion?
Sister: I don't want you going back in there and making another crack about throwing herself down some stairs...I don't want her doing that if the tea isn't going to work.
Me: Hobby Lobby is going to fire her ass when they find out she's been doing the sex before marriage...
Sister: Maybe I should go back in and offer some help.
Me: I could go to the store and buy her some condoms...
(Silence)
Sister: Are you crying?
Me: Kinda...
Sister: Why?
Me: Because I'm sad for her...
Sister: We really need to ship you back to New York asap...you're losing your shit out here.
*It should be noted, we did go back in...
4 comments:
Are you an idiot? Not everyone who works at Hobby Lobby is religious. Should a cashier be telling you about being prego.. Probably not but it is sad that the only person she feel comfortable telling is a complete stranger who might not judge her or condemn her. She obviously wants help.
It's called sarcasm you fucking anonymous twit. Go read some other blog...I don't need your lack of sense of humor all up in my grill.xo.
You crack me up.
Hilarious!
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