Re: There Was Ringing in My Ears, Though I Heard No Melody...

Dear BlackBerry:

Quit it. You're acting like a psycho. It was almost three weeks ago when Kathleen removed his number from my phone, and that's how it should have stayed. But like the girl I am, the one who's addicted to the sweet agony of wanting someone so painfully unattainable, I had to put him back in my list of contacts, although swearing I'd never lay eyes on the number again.

Perhaps, BlackBerry, like me, you've watched too many romantic comedies...you know, the ones where the girl gets the boy in the end and vice versa...the same ones where there's this public display of love, this obnoxious attempt to outdo all the movies before...ugh, Lloyd Dobler, I still stand by the fact you ruined me.

Yes, I should've left his number in the past, like a piece of graffiti that's both profane yet mildly titillating, the kind that people sometimes try to wash away with simple soap and water, but it never really goes away, instead just barely fades...sun and time will do wonders is what they always seem to say.

So of all the numbers in my phone, BlackBerry, if I don't lock you, you call him. Why? Do you think this cute? Because I think it's annoying and the actions of a fifteen year old girl...you're making me look like the damn queen of calling and hanging up and technology has come a long way...you can't get away with such behavior anymore.

Right now, although locked, I've scrolled all the way down to "Zach" in my contact list in the hopes that that's where you'll stay. If not, if you insist upon rolling up the majority of the alphabet and calling him again, I'm getting an iPhone. That's right, I'm not removing his number, dear BlackBerry, I'll just remove you instead, bitches.

xo.

Mandy.

Read: new Pomegranate Seeds: "Vestigial."

Listen: my new obsession, "Wilmont," by The Love Language (this is best really loud, especially with headphones).

*Ideally, do both together if you can multi-task like the best of them...