My sister, Jennie, is big into massages and spa days. I am not. I can't stand to be touched and a massage, for me, is more of a torture and the furthest thing from relaxing. So yesterday, while my sister went to get a massage, I decided 1pm on a Tuesday was not too early to start Mandy's Happy Hour Extravaganza. I had been up since 8am, written an article about over-zealous hippies, and done two album reviews, so I figured I was, indeed, entitled. By 230pm, my sister was done with her massage and I was on my third martini and getting all chatty with the bartender (who had half sleeve tattoos, mind you) about Bon Iver, Mumford & Sons and Colorado vodka.
Me: How was the massage?
Jennie: Great. How's the massage for your liver going?
Me: Great. Just sitting here making friends with Jonas...like the song!
Jennie: Excellent. A tattooed bartender with a Weezer song name...obviously, you're in love so I'll have to join you for at least one drink...
Me: So I was thinking about getting the band back together...oh, and I think Jonas is from Scotland or something.
Jennie: No, he's not. He's from here. What band?
Me: You don't think he sounds Scottish?
Jennie: No, he sounds like he's from Colorado...
Me: No!
Jennie: Now what band are you talking about?
Me: The band from college...the one Julie, Bess and I were in, remember?
Jennie: Oh, 12-Hour Drive. How could I forget? You did have t-shirts after all...
Me: And that one hit, "I Have the Same Taste in Boys as Winona Ryder!"
Jennie: I still find it amazing that you had a band, t-shirts, an album cover, and one song...but yet no lyrics for the song, nor did anyone play an instrument except for you...
Me: That's not true...Julie could play "Come as You Are," by Nirvana on the guitar, and you know Bess has played the French horn for years. And obviously my years of piano skills were the highlight of our line-up.
Jennie: So with you here, Bess in Pittsburgh and Julie in Boston, I definitely see a reunion tour in the works...how many martinis have you had again?
Me: Three...no, 2.75 to be exact.
Jennie: Well let's order some guac to go from Jonas then go home.
Me: You know I love him, right?
Jennie: Yes, Mandy, I know you love him...you'd love anyone who supplied you with vodka before 3pm.
1 comments:
My husband had a band in high school called Apples and Oranges. None of the members could play any instruments nor did they even write one song but they'd go into bars with their fake IDs and score points with all the older girls. To this day he swears he lost his virginity to a girl who claimed Apples and Oranges was her favorite band - even though they didn't exist.
I still don't know if I believe him or not.
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