Mandy vs. The Creepy Older French Man (again)

I have a French nose. I've hated it my entire life...and despite a whole slew of friends who swear to disown me if I do, I still plan to "fix" it someday. However, I don't know if it's my nose (it's definitely not my charm fo' sho') or just the fact that I'm traveling alone, but I am constantly being approached by French men and boys. I characterize "boys" as people my age, and "men" as people who are old enough to be my dad. The following conversation took place Saturday morning over petit déjeuner...I actually took notes so as not to forget some of the award-winning lines:

French Man: (something in french I don't understand)

Me: Pardon? Je ne parle pas francais...seulement un petit peu.

FM: Ah! British?

Me: No, American.

FM: I love Americans!

Me: Ok.

FM: I love American womens. I love how they scent and accent!

Me: Ok.

FM: How do you like this Paris?

Me: I love it so far.

FM: Do you want me to tour guide you?

Me: No, thank you. I'm fine on my own.

FM: But if you come to Paris you must have French lover.

Me: Yeah, we'll see about that.

FM: You have lovers in America?

Me: Yes. Twenty of them.

FM: You are beautiful American woman, I could be your French lover.

Me: No, thank you.

FM: So you have a lover now?

Me: Yes, twenty. I told you that.

FM: But no lover that is French?

Me: Nope.

FM: I want to tell you that I am sensual and caress with care.

Me: No, thank you. You are a little too old for me.

FM: Older French mens have experiences to spread on you. You will like how I can sensualize you.

Me: I'm not really looking for anything sensual.

FM: We can walk this city and I can make love to you in your apartment.

Me: I'm here on business. I don't have time to make love right now.

FM: If you give me opportunities I can make you feel like love on the floor.

(don't really know where he was going with that)

Me: I just really want to finish my cafe au lait and be on my way.

FM: Shall we go somewhere and fuck until we cry?

Me: Um...no, that would be too weird for me, but thanks.

(trying desperately not to laugh or run like hell)

FM: I can't invoke you come away with me?

Me: No. My phone is ringining...(I pick up my phone that wasn't ringing and pretend to be on it until I was able to get the check and leave...)

A story about a rainy Saturday afternoon in Paris...on Pomegranate Seeds...