Re: Mandy vs. The First Graders.

1st Grader #1: Mrs. C, do you have kids?

Me: Ew...no! Do I look like I have kids?

1st Grader #2: Well, Mrs. R has kids...

Me: Mrs. R has one kid in the flesh and one on the way...so it's technically not kids...

1st Grader #1: Mrs. C, do you have a boyfriend?

Me: It's Ms. C, and no. Do you have a boyfriend?

1st Grader #1: No! (giggles)

1st Grader #2: Do you have a husband?

Me: No, that's why I'm Ms. and not Mrs.

1st Grader #1: Do you have a job?

Me: No, not really...I'm working on my career...

1st Grader #2: What's your career?

Me: It's complicated...

(enter my sister, Jennie)

Jennie: Hey, why don't you guys ask Ms. C about New York City! She sees lots of famous people there!

1st Grader #1: What famous people?

Me: Well...a few days before I came out here I saw Vincent Gallo...

1st Grader #1: Who's he?

Me: He was in a movie called The Brown Bunny...in fact, he wrote it, directed it and...

Jennie: No! No, Ms. C, they don't need to hear about that movie.

Me: Yes, I guess you're right...it wasn't good at all...just a lot of hype.

1st Grader #2: What's hype?

Jennie: Hype is another word for hoopla...a publicity stunt so people will be excited about something...

Me: It's like what's going on with those Twilight movies...

1st Grader #1: I want to go see New Moon, but my big sister said it's scary.

Me: You're probably better off...it looks horrible and that girl can't act for sh--, um, at all...

1st Grader #2: Ms. C, will you stay with Mrs. R until her next baby comes out?

Me: No, Boulder isn't really for me...long term wise...

1st Grader #2: But you've been here for so long already...you should stay and come in again tomorrow!

Me: You really want me to come back tomorrow? How nice of you...

1st Grader #1: Did you come out here to help Mrs. R get ready for Christmas?

Me: Morgan, why do you ask so many questions? And no...I was having a bell jar moment and...

Jennie: ...what Ms. C means is she didn't have a sadness shield in New York and now she has one so everything will be fine...

1st Grader #1: What's a bell jar?

Me: It's a vacuum inside a glass and if you're stuck in one, you suffocate and...

Jennie: Mandy! I mean, Ms. C! Let's talk about our favorite books from when we were little instead...

Me: I think these kids need a heads up on what they're in store for, Mrs. R...especially lil' Ms.-Ask-a-Hundred-Questions Morgan over here...

(a collective giggle for the group)

Jennie: I think Ms. C is about to give up her recess privileges, that's what I think...