Re: Put Your John Hancock Right Here...

Yesterday I was asked to compose a letter for the CEO to sign. The letter was supposed to be brief and grant the CFO and I permission to enter some storage unit over in Chelsea. I was asked to be "to the point, and steer clear of any mandy-isms" in the letter. I googled "mandy-isms" and couldn't find a definition, so I wrote the letter as I saw fit.

I handed the letter to the CEO, asked him to sign it and he did. He never read the letter to see what he was signing, he just signed away and handed it back to me. This morning I decided I'd write another letter...because I'm anti-authority and like to act like a fifteen year old. In this letter, I went on to praise the coloring of the carpet in the showroom. I made it quite flowery and even stretched it out for three whole paragraphs. Again, I handed the letter to the CEO, asked him to sign it and he did...not once looking over what it was he was signing. 

As I walked away with the pointless rambling (and signed!) letter that detailed the difference between the azure and cerulean blue stripes of the carpet, my brain searched for all the things I could put in front of him and ask him to sign. I know that having him sign a blank check might be kinda tricky, but maybe I can get him to sign a letter stating that I should get a 30k/year raise, or have him sign a stellar reference letter that will be my ticket to writing for The New Yorker! The deceit is endless!

For the rest of the day, I will compiling a list of things that the CEO should sign from which I'll benefit...and being that I'm not really good at the whole multi-tasking thing, I'm going to need everyone in this office to leave me alone so I can do so...unless, of course, one of you can tell me what the fuck a "mandy-ism" is, then I'm all ears.

Kiss. Kiss.

Mandy.