Instant Messaging: Lessons in Love from Former Coworker Clifford.

mandyheartshubbell: Jennie Klein has a boyfriend and is all in love. Jennie Klein has someone who spends every single fucking night with her, and I don’t…maybe we should stop making fun of the Klein, because I’m just like her?

cl80G: your overly nit-picky standards have made every guy impossible. I hate to break it to you,  but EVERY guy owns white socks.

mandyheartshubbell: that’s untrue. not every boy owns white socks.

cl80G: you gotta toss that one off the list…then a whole new world will open up for you!

mandyheartshubbell: haha. you’re probably right.

cl80G: no one is perfect. you gotta stop matching interests and see who matches your faults…that’s when you get connected.

mandyheartshubbell: I never thought about it that way…

cl80G: it’s like, everyone likes music, I get it…but do you both have the same faults: like secret loves for Bright Eyes or drinking too much or lashing out at stupid Japs…

mandyheartshubbell: so if I find someone like that, we’re a match?

cl80G: I dunno, probably.

mandyheartshubbell: because I’m pretty sure I can run over to Ludlow later today and find a few of those boys…and they won’t be wearing white socks either.

cl80G: if you’re walking around with a running list of 100 things you need someone to be, then it’s never going to work.  no one is going to be everything…

mandyheartshubbell: I beg to differ, Clifford...someone will be everything. I just know it!

cl80G: just lose that list and say ‘hey, we have the same problems and do the same stupid shit, so maybe this will work.’ then all the things on your list just become a bonus rather than an expectation.

mandyheartshubbell: wow. I love you because you’re awesome and funny; and now I love you even more because you’re wise, too.

cl80G: ha! I’m hungover and made my ass outta myself and vomited when I got out of a cab last night…but hey, that may make me a sage.

mandyheartshubbell: like a spice? you’re a spice?

cl80G: a sage is another word for a wiseman – a shamen – all knowing.

mandyheartshubbell: oh…my vocab isn’t what it used to be.