Re: The Freight Elevator.

Everyone:

Apparently, the freight elevator is for freight only. I like to sneak out the freight elevator to Crosby and scurry down to Spring to score my Starbucks fix, as I know many of you do, but today I got a verbal thrashing from the person who monitors the elevator. I say person, because its gender is a mystery to me due to the gruff, Latin-accented voice and ever present five-o'clock shadow...but those breasts, well, they just throw me for a loop!

Mystery Gender Person would like me to share with you, or I think it would, I don't really understand what it said to me to be exact, but I think it was that the freight elevator is not for 'professional use.' I looked down at my beat up Chucks and band t-shirt when it said this, and was royally confused, as I'm no professional...or at least not the kind it's talking about...but I digress! Basically, we can't use the freight elevator for any reason during the daytime work hours - something I was told not once, or twice, but three times last week.

However, I realized there's a way to work around this...outside the freight elevator, there is a sign that says the elevator is for 'shipments, deliveries, and for professionals with bikes and/or dogs only.' I have a dog...a fact, I pointed out to fuzzy face. Of course, the sign isn't as clear as it should be, so the Latin tranny couldn't really argue the issue. So should you find yourself in the same predicament as me: innocently wanting to avoid the dreadful tourists of Broadway, and opting for the freight elevator, please understand that you will have to tell the creature at the back door that you have a dog and/or bike. Yes, this might be a lie for some of you, but it's a scientific fact that liars are more fun than honest people...

Thanks.
Mandy.