People:Based on the bathroom manners of some of the women in here, I’m starting to assume that outside the city the rest of the world just doesn’t have toilets as we know them. I’m envisioning piles of hay, or maybe just little holes in the ground for both the men and women to stand over and drop their, er, stuff…
I’m not going to get into the details, nor the color, nor the substances that I’ve seen on and around the toilet seat whenever I am unfortunate enough to use the loo after one of you darlings in particular (the ugly, angry, bovine-looking one), but I am going to apologize now for the scathing note I’m about to post on the bathroom stall doors. I know who the mess belongs to, and before the boys in our office our subjected to similar profane sights, I’m going to post the same scathing note in their restroom too. How dare the rest of the world say Americans are uncivilized?! The audacity! We at least know where it’s acceptable to shit and piss! (Actually, below the Mason-Dixon line they’re pretty much animals, so there is some verity to that belief, and as a New Englander I can state this to be fact.)
So please disregard the vulgar, and terrifyingly rude note that I’m about to hang in clear view of anyone who uses the toilet.
Thanks!
Ms. Pants.
2 comments:
I am two weeks ahead of you on this one, Mandy. I had to post two notes in our ladies room and then suffer the wrath of the person it was aimed at.
I stood there and let her spew how childish it was that the note was posted and "we shouldn't be treated like children" and was a similar note put in the men's room. Um, Yes it is childish and it is put up because you do need to be treated like children that is a proven fact based on the shit staining the outside of your toilets and yes the same note is posted in the men's room because after 20 years I know where this is headed and I wanted to be able to SHUT YOU UP right off the bat. Now go wash your hands you filthy barn animal!
After the note was torn down I had it practically perma-bonded to the stall door. Take that!! I'll wage my knowledge of office supplies against yours any day you germ-infested slacker!!!
I'm from below the Mason-Dixon does that make me an animal? Probably...
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